Transvestia
wanted to enjoy the same games, one of which has always been playing the Great Lady, all dressed up in mommy's dress and high heeled shoes. Here it seems appropriate to interject the fact that even though a girl child was pre- ferred, and nothing was ever done to discourage my femi- nine interests, the actual wearing of mother's clothes was definitely NOT appreciated. Nevertheless, I did re- ceive a regular finishing school education; how a lady should walk, sit, stand, conduct herself at table, and most of the other myriad graces a young lady should know. I was "tuned in". I loved every minute.
The first seven years of school were hell on earth. There's just no other appropriate description. No love was lost between "the boys" and I, and every day, the pleasant experience of learning at school studies was darkened by the inevitable taunting, the mental and often physical torment. A girl who doesn't like to fight can al- ways learn to run. Guess who became a pretty fair runner? The running had a by-product.
It was a marvelous dream; to awaken some bright, glorious day, and find that I was truly the daughter of my parents. This dream lived on through all my years at home. I prayed. Oh, how I prayed! Such prayers are rarely answered, but I remained hopeful trans-sexual for The next 20 years.
Then, as if the foregoing wasn't enough, at the age of 12, nature seemed to be taking an unusual course. It was at once welcome and frightening. When most boys were becoming a bit awkward, muscular etc., there was I becoming rather round in all the wrong places. (Could this be mind over matter?) Something had to rip.
Through all the previous years, the reaction to my femininity by the other children caused me to be miser- able by the end of each school day. So, true to mankind Irebeled, hurtling back this abuse at a loved one, mother. Here we must introduce a new face, the disciplinarian, Father. Leather belt on bare flanks makes a rather in- delible impression, and the strongest father-image re- collection... SO • now we have evolved two of the standard theses, i.e., (1) a girl wanted and (2) poor father image. From all this obtuse exchange sprang a momentous de-
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